He was very much admired indeed.
他的确非常受人赞美。
【indeed】very... indeed 加强语气的用法在 EVP 中为 B1,标 B2 偏高,B1 学生多半已掌握。
如本书注释以 B2 及以上为准,可删除此条;如保留,改标 B1,并只保留用法说明。
“He is as beautiful as a weathercock,” remarked one of the Town Councillors who wished to gain a reputation for having artistic tastes; “only not quite so useful,” he added, fearing lest people should think him unpractical, which he really was not.
“他像风向标一样美丽,”一位想博得艺术品位名声的市议员评论道;“只是没有风向标那么有用,”他又补了一句,生怕别人认为他不切实际,其实他真的不是那样的人。
以风向标比美、又补充“没那么有用”是讽刺议员附庸风雅又假装务实,末句“which he really was not”的反讽指向需确认译文是否清楚。
其实他真的不是那样的人;其实他一点也不是不切实际的人;其实他本来就很讲实际
“He is as beautiful as a weathercock,” remarked one of the Town Councillors who wished to gain a reputation for having artistic tastes; “only not quite so useful,” he added, fearing lest people should think him unpractical, which he really was not.
“他像风向标一样美丽,”一位想博得艺术品位名声的市议员评论道;“只是没有风向标那么有用,”他又补了一句,生怕别人认为他不切实际,其实他真的不是那样的人。
议员把雕像比作风向标,是王尔德对庸俗实用主义的讽刺。中文读者可能读不出其中的反讽。
可保留直译,在练习或注释中提示其讽刺意味。
“He is as beautiful as a weathercock,” remarked one of the Town Councillors who wished to gain a reputation for having artistic tastes; “only not quite so useful,” he added, fearing lest people should think him unpractical, which he really was not.
“他像风向标一样美丽,”一位想博得艺术品位名声的市议员评论道;“只是没有风向标那么有用,”他又补了一句,生怕别人认为他不切实际,其实他真的不是那样的人。
【artistic】artistic tastes 中 artistic 修饰 tastes,意思是“艺术方面的(品味)”。释义“有艺术修养的”是形容人的用法,与本句搭配不完全贴合。
可改为“艺术的;有艺术品味的”,并补充 artistic tastes 意为“艺术品味”。
“Why can’t you be like the Happy Prince?” asked a sensible mother of her little boy who was crying for the moon.
“你为什么不能像快乐王子那样呢?”一位明事理的母亲问她那哭着要月亮的小儿子。
cry for the moon 是英语习语,意为“想要得不到的东西”。直译只保留了字面意思。
保留直译,另加注:英语习语,指索要不可能得到的东西。
“Why can’t you be like the Happy Prince?” asked a sensible mother of her little boy who was crying for the moon.
“你为什么不能像快乐王子那样呢?”一位明事理的母亲问她那哭着要月亮的小儿子。
【sensible】sensible 在 EVP 中可能为 B1,严格按等级应删除。不过它与 sensitive 是中国学生常混淆的一对词。
建议保留,因为辨析价值高。等级是否改为 B1 由教师决定。
“Shall I love you?” said the Swallow, who liked to come to the point at once, and the Reed made him a low bow.
“我可以爱你吗?”燕子说,他喜欢开门见山,芦苇便向他深深地鞠了一躬。
“Shall I love you?”带古雅语气,既可理解为征求许可,也可理解为燕子自问式的直率表白,语气难以兼顾。
“我可以爱你吗?”;“我来爱你,好吗?”;“让我爱你吧?”
“It is a ridiculous attachment,” twittered the other Swallows; “she has no money, and far too many relations;” and indeed the river was quite full of Reeds.
“这份迷恋真可笑,”别的燕子们叽叽喳喳地说;“她没有钱,亲戚又太多;”的确,河里长满了芦苇。
“far too many relations”与“河里满是芦苇”构成双关和反讽,中文“亲戚太多”能否让学习者体会到笑点需编辑判断,是否加注。
保留直译“亲戚又太多”;改为“七大姑八大姨太多”(更口语,但风格偏俗);加脚注说明双关
“It is a ridiculous attachment,” twittered the other Swallows; “she has no money, and far too many relations;” and indeed the river was quite full of Reeds.
“这份迷恋真可笑,”别的燕子们叽叽喳喳地说;“她没有钱,亲戚又太多;”的确,河里长满了芦苇。
relations 一语双关:既指亲戚,又暗指河里成片的芦苇。后半句“河里长满了芦苇”能部分体现,但幽默有所减弱。
可加注说明双关,或改为“的确,河里到处都是她的亲戚——芦苇”。
“She has no conversation,” he said, “and I am afraid that she is a coquette, for she is always flirting with the wind.”
“她不会聊天,”他说,“而且我恐怕她是个轻浮的姑娘,因为她总是和风调情。”
“coquette”指卖弄风情的女子,“flirting with the wind”拟人调情,对B1学习者的读物用词分寸需把握。
轻浮的姑娘/和风调情;爱卖弄风情的姑娘/和风打情骂俏;水性杨花(较重,不建议)
“She has no conversation,” he said, “and I am afraid that she is a coquette, for she is always flirting with the wind.”
“她不会聊天,”他说,“而且我恐怕她是个轻浮的姑娘,因为她总是和风调情。”
flirting with the wind 与下句芦苇随风“行屈膝礼”相呼应,是拟人双关。“轻浮的姑娘”的语气轻重需要斟酌。
可改为“爱卖弄风情的姑娘”,更贴近 coquette 的本义。
“I admit that she is domestic,” he continued, “but I love travelling, and my wife, consequently, should love travelling also.”
“我承认她很顾家,”他接着说,“可我喜欢旅行,所以我的妻子也应该喜欢旅行。”
domestic 既有“顾家”之意,又暗指芦苇扎根原地、无法离开。中文“顾家”难以兼顾两层意思。
可改为“恋家”,或加注说明其字面含义。
“I admit that she is domestic,” he continued, “but I love travelling, and my wife, consequently, should love travelling also.”
“我承认她很顾家,”他接着说,“可我喜欢旅行,所以我的妻子也应该喜欢旅行。”
【consequently】consequently 在 EVP 中多列为 B2,标 C1 可能偏高。
核对 EVP 后考虑改为 B2。
“What is the use of a statue if it cannot keep the rain off?” he said; “I must look for a good chimney-pot,” and he determined to fly away.
“雕像要是连雨都挡不住,还有什么用?”他说;“我得去找一个好烟囱顶,”于是他决定飞走。
“chimney-pot”指烟囱顶端的陶制管帽,中国读者不熟悉。
烟囱顶;烟囱管帽;烟囱口
“When I was alive and had a human heart,” answered the statue, “I did not know what tears were, for I lived in the Palace of Sans-Souci, where sorrow is not allowed to enter.
“我活着、还有一颗人心的时候,”雕像回答,“我不知道眼泪是什么,因为我住在无忧宫里,那里是不准悲伤进来的。
【Sans-Souci】Sans-Souci 是法语词,英式读法有 /ˌsɒ̃ suːˈsiː/ 和英语化的 /ˌsɒn suːˈsiː/ 等多种。
由教师决定采用英语化读法还是标出法语鼻化元音,全书标注需统一。
My courtiers called me the Happy Prince, and happy indeed I was, if pleasure be happiness.
朝臣们叫我快乐王子,如果享乐就是快乐的话,我的确很快乐。
“if pleasure be happiness”为虚拟语气,暗含王子对“享乐≠快乐”的反思,译文语气轻重需斟酌。
如果享乐就是快乐的话;倘若享乐便算快乐;假如欢乐就等于幸福
My courtiers called me the Happy Prince, and happy indeed I was, if pleasure be happiness.
朝臣们叫我快乐王子,如果享乐就是快乐的话,我的确很快乐。
if pleasure be happiness 用的是古旧的虚拟语气,也是全篇的主题句。中文语气偏平。
可改为“倘若享乐便是快乐,那我的确很快乐”,以体现庄重的语气。
Her face is thin and worn, and she has coarse, red hands, all pricked by the needle, for she is a seamstress.
她的脸消瘦而憔悴,一双手粗糙发红,满是针扎的伤痕,因为她是个女裁缝。
【seamstress】seamstress 英式有 /ˈsiːmstrəs/ 和 /ˈsemstrəs/ 两种读法,后者在传统 RP 中也常见。
保留 /ˈsiːmstrəs/ 为主读音,可在注释中补充 /ˈsemstrəs/。
He passed over the Ghetto, and saw the old Jews bargaining with each other, and weighing out money in copper scales.
他飞过犹太人聚居区,看见年老的犹太人在彼此讨价还价,用铜秤称钱。
犹太人讨价还价、称钱的描写带有十九世纪的刻板印象,属敏感文化内容,是否加编者注需决定。
照原文直译,不加注;直译并加编者注说明时代背景;“犹太人聚居区”另作“犹太区”
He passed over the Ghetto, and saw the old Jews bargaining with each other, and weighing out money in copper scales.
他飞过犹太人聚居区,看见年老的犹太人在彼此讨价还价,用铜秤称钱。
原文“犹太人称钱、讨价还价”的描写带有十九世纪的刻板印象。面向学习者的读物需决定是否加编者注。
保留原文,加编者注说明这是时代刻板印象。
The river-horse couches there among the bulrushes, and on a great granite throne sits the God Memnon.
河马卧在那儿的香蒲丛中,门农神像(古埃及的巨大石像)坐在一张巨大的花岗岩宝座上。
“the God Memnon”实指底比斯的门农巨像,为帮助理解加了简短括注;“river-horse”是河马的古称,已直接译为“河马”。是否保留括注需编辑决定。
门农神像(古埃及的巨大石像);门农神像(不加注);门农巨像
“I am beginning to be appreciated,” he cried; “this is from some great admirer.
“我开始受人赏识了,”他叫道,“这一定是哪位热心的仰慕者送来的。
“great admirer”指“热烈的仰慕者”,不是“伟大的仰慕者”;学生的自负带有讽刺意味,译法需兼顾。
这一定是哪位热心的仰慕者送来的;这准是某位狂热的崇拜者送的;这是一位了不起的仰慕者送的
“Heave a-hoy!” they shouted as each chest came up.
“嘿——哟!”每拉上来一只箱子,他们就齐声喊道。
“Heave a-hoy!”是水手拉绳时的号子,没有固定的中文对应。
嘿——哟!;嘿哟,拉呀!;一、二,起!
“I am come to bid you good-bye,” he cried.
“我是来向你道别的。”他喊道。
“I am come”是古雅句式,按要求用稍显庄重的白话表达,庄重程度可以再斟酌。
我是来向你道别的;我特地来向你辞行了;我来向你告别了
In Egypt the sun is warm on the green palm-trees, and the crocodiles lie in the mud and look lazily about them.
在埃及,温暖的阳光照在绿色的棕榈树上,鳄鱼躺在泥里,懒洋洋地打量着四周。
【crocodile】crocodile 在国内初中教材中常见,B1 中国学生大多认识,标 C1 偏高。
可考虑删除,或改标 B2。
My companions are building a nest in the Temple of Baalbec, and the pink and white doves are watching them, and cooing to each other.
我的同伴们正在巴尔贝克神庙(古代神庙遗址,在今黎巴嫩)里筑巢,粉色和白色的鸽子在一旁看着他们,彼此咕咕地低语。
专有名词首次出现时加了括注。需确认前文是否已注过巴尔贝克,并统一斯芬克斯、月亮山的注释体例(p062s2)。
保留括注;改为页脚注;不加注释
He told him of the red ibises, who stand in long rows on the banks of the Nile, and catch gold-fish in their beaks; of the Sphinx, who is as old as the world itself, and lives in the desert, and knows everything; of the merchants, who walk slowly by the side of their camels and carry amber beads in their hands; of the King of the Mountains of the Moon, who is as black as ebony, and worships a large crystal; of the great green snake that sleeps in a palm tree, and has twenty priests to feed it with honey-cakes; and of the pygmies who sail over a big lake on large flat leaves, and are always at war with the butterflies.
他讲到红色的朱鹭,它们在尼罗河岸边排成长长的一行行,用长嘴捕捉金鱼;讲到斯芬克斯(古埃及的狮身人面像),它和世界一样古老,住在沙漠里,无所不知;讲到商人们,他们在骆驼旁慢慢地走着,手里拿着琥珀念珠;讲到月亮山(传说中尼罗河发源的山脉)的国王,他像乌木一样黑,崇拜一块巨大的水晶;讲到睡在棕榈树上的大绿蛇,有二十个祭司用蜜糕喂它;还讲到那些乘着又大又平的叶子渡过大湖的小矮人,他们总是在和蝴蝶打仗。
“as black as ebony”和“pygmies”属于19世纪的种族化表述,用于面向学习者的读物较敏感,需编辑决定处理方式。
像乌木一样黑/小矮人(直译,忠实原文);皮肤黝黑如乌木/俾格米人;加编者注说明时代背景
He told him of the red ibises, who stand in long rows on the banks of the Nile, and catch gold-fish in their beaks; of the Sphinx, who is as old as the world itself, and lives in the desert, and knows everything; of the merchants, who walk slowly by the side of their camels and carry amber beads in their hands; of the King of the Mountains of the Moon, who is as black as ebony, and worships a large crystal; of the great green snake that sleeps in a palm tree, and has twenty priests to feed it with honey-cakes; and of the pygmies who sail over a big lake on large flat leaves, and are always at war with the butterflies.
他讲到红色的朱鹭,它们在尼罗河岸边排成长长的一行行,用长嘴捕捉金鱼;讲到斯芬克斯(古埃及的狮身人面像),它和世界一样古老,住在沙漠里,无所不知;讲到商人们,他们在骆驼旁慢慢地走着,手里拿着琥珀念珠;讲到月亮山(传说中尼罗河发源的山脉)的国王,他像乌木一样黑,崇拜一块巨大的水晶;讲到睡在棕榈树上的大绿蛇,有二十个祭司用蜜糕喂它;还讲到那些乘着又大又平的叶子渡过大湖的小矮人,他们总是在和蝴蝶打仗。
“像乌木一样黑”的国王和 pygmies 都是殖民时代的异域化描写。“小矮人”的处理也需斟酌。
可保留原文,加注说明历史语境;pygmies 可考虑译为“俾格米人”并加注。
“I am covered with fine gold,” said the Prince, “you must take it off, leaf by leaf, and give it to my poor; the living always think that gold can make them happy.”
“我全身都贴着纯金,”王子说,“你把它一片一片揭下来,送给我的穷人吧;活着的人总以为金子能让他们快乐。”
“my poor”带有王子把穷人视为自己子民的亲切感,直译“我的穷人”略显生硬。
我的穷人;我城里的穷人;我那些贫苦的百姓
“I am covered with fine gold,” said the Prince, “you must take it off, leaf by leaf, and give it to my poor; the living always think that gold can make them happy.”
“我全身都贴着纯金,”王子说,“你把它一片一片揭下来,送给我的穷人吧;活着的人总以为金子能让他们快乐。”
my poor 表达王子对子民的责任感。“我的穷人”在中文里略显生硬。
可改为“送给我城里的穷人吧”,既符合术语表,又更自然。
“I am glad that you are going to Egypt at last, little Swallow,” said the Prince, “you have stayed too long here; but you must kiss me on the lips, for I love you.”
“我很高兴你终于要去埃及了,小燕子,”王子说,“你在这里待得太久了;不过你一定要吻我的嘴唇,因为我爱你。”
王子说“吻我的嘴唇,因为我爱你”,涉及情感表达和不同解读。语域需与读者对象相协调。
建议保留忠实译法,由编辑决定是否加导读说明。
It certainly was a dreadfully hard frost.
那场霜冻的确冷得可怕。
叙述者用冷淡的口吻把心碎归因于霜冻,是反讽,译文需保留这种轻描淡写的语气。
那场霜冻的确冷得可怕;那场霜冻实在是太厉害了;说起来,那天的霜冻也确实冻得太狠了
It certainly was a dreadfully hard frost.
那场霜冻的确冷得可怕。
叙述者把心碎归因于霜冻,是故作冷静的反讽。B1 读者可能只读出字面意思。
可保留译文,在阅读题中引导读者思考心为何碎裂。
“Of myself,” said each of the Town Councillors, and they quarrelled.
“是我自己的雕像。”每一位市议员都这么说,于是他们争吵起来。
每位议员都说 Of myself,字面相同而所指不同,构成笑点。中文“是我自己的雕像”能体现,但不够醒目。
可改为“立我的!”每位市议员都这么说,使笑点更突出。
“Bring me the two most precious things in the city,” said God to one of His Angels; and the Angel brought Him the leaden heart and the dead bird.
“去把城里最珍贵的两样东西带来给我。”上帝对他的一位天使说;天使便把那颗铅做的心和那只死鸟带给了他。
原文“His”大写表示对上帝的尊称,中文可以用“他”或“祂”,全书需统一。
他;祂;上帝(重复名词,避免使用代词)
“Bring me the two most precious things in the city,” said God to one of His Angels; and the Angel brought Him the leaden heart and the dead bird.
“去把城里最珍贵的两样东西带来给我。”上帝对他的一位天使说;天使便把那颗铅做的心和那只死鸟带给了他。
原文用大写的 His 指上帝。中文用“他”还是“祂”,需全书统一,也要考虑宗教读者。
可统一改为“祂”,或保留“他”并在凡例中说明。