Review checklist · The True Story of Ah Q

The full text has been translated, run through the character sheet and an editorial review pass. Only the calls a professional should make are listed here. Tick them off as you go; progress is saved in this browser.

allusionCh. 1 · ¶ 2 (ch01p002)#01

Source: “引车卖浆者流”
Current English: "those who push carts and sell soy milk"
Why: This is Lin Shu's sneer at vernacular writers. 浆 is a generic drink or gruel, and 'soy milk' is a specific modern choice.
Suggestion: Consider 'those who pull carts and hawk drinks' for a closer match to the classical tag, or keep 'soy milk' as the endnote already explains it.

cultureCh. 2 · ¶ 20 (ch02p020)#02

Source: 天门啦～～角回啦！
Current English: Heaven's Gate it is~~ Corner pays back!
Why: The sheet gives 角回 simply as 'Corner'. 'Pays back' is the translator's reading of 回 (stake returned), which is an interpretive gloss inside the banker's chant.
Suggestion: Either keep the sheet form ('Heaven's Gate it is~~ Corner!') and explain the payout in an endnote, or approve 'Corner pays back' and update the sheet.

punCh. 3 · ¶ 9 (ch03p009)#03

Source: 这毛虫！
Current English: Hairy caterpillar!
Why: 毛虫 jabs at Wang's beard (毛, hair) and echoes Ah Q's own 'vermin' (虫豸) self-abasement. The English keeps the hair but loses the echo.
Suggestion: Keep 'Hairy caterpillar!' and add an endnote on the 虫 link to 'vermin', or consider 'Hairy vermin!' to make the echo explicit.

punCh. 3 · ¶ 22 (ch03p022)#04

Source: 秃儿。驴……
Current English: Baldy. Ass…
Why: Together, 秃驴 ('bald ass') is a stock slur for Buddhist monks. Ah Q aims it at the queueless Sham Foreign Devil and then reuses 'Baldy' on the little nun. That link is invisible in English.
Suggestion: Keep the rendering and gloss the monk slur in an endnote, so readers catch the later 'Baldy!' to the nun.

registerCh. 3 · ¶ 30 (ch03p030)#05

Source: “咳，开！”
Current English: "Hawk—ptui!"
Why: The source is the throat-clearing and spitting sound. The same characters 咳…开 also echo the banker's chant '咳～～开～～啦' in ch02, and that echo is lost.
Suggestion: Decide whether to keep the pure spitting sound or mirror the banker's call, e.g. 'He~y—ptui!', to preserve the echo.

ambiguityCh. 4 · ¶ 15 (ch04p015)#06

Source: 赵太爷未进秀才的时候，准其点灯读文章
Current English: before Squire Zhao had passed the licentiate examination
Why: Ch01 says it was the Squire's son who passed. The source literally names 赵太爷, though, so this is either the author's slip or loose reference to the household.
Suggestion: Keep it literal, as now, and add an endnote on the oddity, or render it 'before the Squire's son had passed…'. An editor must choose.

allusionCh. 4 · ¶ 18 (ch04p018)#07

Source: 这小孤孀
Current English: this young widow
Why: 小孤孀 echoes the opera Ah Q sang, 'The Young Widow at the Grave' (ch03p002). The echo survives only if the wording matches.
Suggestion: Keep 'young widow' consistently here, in ch04p036 and in the opera title so the link stays visible. Optionally note it.

ambiguityCh. 4 · ¶ 27 (ch04p027)#08

Source: 你反了，……你这……
Current English: So you'd rise up, would you?…
Why: 反了 means both 'you're out of line' and 'rebel'. It foreshadows 造反 ('Rise up!') and the headman's 'downright rebellion' in ch04p038. The current wording may sound odd in a scholar's mouth.
Suggestion: Confirm 'rise up' is meant to echo the sheet's 造反 = 'Rise up!'. Alternatively use 'So you'd rebel, would you?…', which also links to 'rebellion' in p038.

registerCh. 4 · ¶ 38 (ch04p038)#09

Source: 阿Q，你的妈妈的！
Current English: "Ah Q, his mother's… you!"
Why: The sheet fixes 妈妈的 as 'his mother's...'. Here the headman says 你的妈妈的, 'your mother's', and 'his mother's… you!' reads awkwardly.
Suggestion: Decide between 'Ah Q, your mother's…!' (accurate, but deviates from the catchphrase) and keeping the 'his mother's…' formula for consistency.

punCh. 6 · ¶ 9 (ch06p009)#10

Source: 叉“麻酱”……小乌龟子
Current English: "mah-jam" … little turtle-brats
Why: 'Mah-jam' handles the 麻将/麻酱 garble well. 小乌龟子 is a coarse insult (turtle means cuckold or pimp's brat), and 'turtle-brats' may not carry that sting for English readers.
Suggestion: Keep 'turtle-brats' for consistency with 'turtle-spawn', and add an end note on the turtle insult.

cultureCh. 6 · ¶ 14 (ch06p014)#11

Source: 闺中……浅闺……深闺
Current English: ladies' chambers … chambers of no great depth … the deep ones
Why: This is mock-classical play on 深闺 (secluded inner quarters of gentry women) versus 'shallow chambers' of poor homes. The English carries it, but 'deep ones' in p016 may puzzle readers.
Suggestion: Consider 'shallow chambers' and 'deep inner chambers' in both paragraphs for clearer contrast.

allusionCh. 6 · ¶ 30 (ch06p030)#12

Source: “老鹰不吃窝下食”……“庭训”
Current English: "the hawk does not hunt by its own nest" … "instruction in the courtyard"
Why: Both renderings are sound, but 'instruction in the courtyard' is opaque without its note. The NOTE field must move to the end-of-book notes, not stay inline.
Suggestion: Keep both phrases and confirm the Analects note goes to the endnotes keyed to the sheet.

ambiguityCh. 6 · ¶ 32 (ch06p032)#13

Source: 他刚才接到一个包，正手再进去
Current English: his partner went back in
Why: The subject is unclear. A common reading is that Ah Q himself was reaching in again for more, not that a partner went back inside.
Suggestion: Consider 'and was just reaching in again for more when…', or keep 'partner' after a deliberate decision.

registerCh. 7 · ¶ 4 (ch07p004)#14

Source: 一群鸟男女
Current English: all those damned men and women
Why: 鸟 is a crude, Water Margin-style vulgarism, and 'damned' may be too mild. It recurs in p025, so the choice should stay consistent.
Suggestion: Decide between 'damned', 'bloody' or 'blasted', and use the same word in ch07p004 and ch07p025.

registerCh. 7 · ¶ 5 (ch07p005)#15

Source: 革这伙妈妈的命
Current English: Revolt against the lot of them, his mother's…
Why: The sheet reserves rebellion vocabulary for 造反. Here Ah Q splits 革命 around his curse, and 'Revolt' blurs that 革命/造反 distinction.
Suggestion: Try 'Make revolution on the lot of them, his mother's…' to keep 革命 and the split curse.

cultureCh. 7 · ¶ 23 (ch07p023)#16

Source: 四两烛
Current English: four-ounce candle
Why: 四两 is four liang (taels), about 150 g. 'Four-ounce' converts the unit, while the style guide prefers traditional units where they give period flavor.
Suggestion: Consider 'four-tael candle' throughout ch07p023, p028 and p029, or keep 'four-ounce' as a deliberate readability choice.

punCh. 7 · ¶ 35 (ch07p035)#17

Source: 革过一革的……你们要革得我们怎么样呢
Current English: we've already been revolutionized once… revolutionize out of us
Why: The nun treats 革 as a plain verb ('strip, cut away'). 'Revolutionized' keeps the echo but reads stiffly in a frightened old woman's mouth.
Suggestion: Accept the echo, or try 'we've had one revolution done to us already… what more do you want to revolution off us?'

nameCh. 7 · ¶ 39 (ch07p039)#18

Source: 那秀才和洋鬼子
Current English: that foreign devil
Why: The sheet maps the character to 'the Sham Foreign Devil'. The nun drops 假 (sham), and the shortened form may be deliberate, but readers must still recognize him.
Suggestion: Keep 'that foreign devil' as her own wording, or use 'the Sham Foreign Devil' for clarity.

allusionCh. 8 · ¶ 2 (ch08p002)#19

Source: “秋行夏令”
Current English: "conduct of summer in the autumn season"
Why: Book of Rites tag. The style sheet asks for slightly stiff archaic English. The current phrasing is clear but could sound more like a ritual-text quotation.
Suggestion: Consider "enacting the ordinances of summer in autumn" to echo the Liji's phrasing more closely.

nameCh. 8 · ¶ 11 (ch08p011)#20

Source: 或者就应该叫洋先生了罢
Current English: Mister Foreign Gentleman
Why: The sheet maps 洋先生 to 'the Sham Foreign Devil'. Here it is a form of address Ah Q picks precisely because 'Sham Foreign Devil' won't do. The translator departs from the sheet, then uses it as narrative label through p022.
Suggestion: Add a sheet sub-entry for the address form, e.g. 'the Foreign Gentleman'. Drop 'Mister', which is close to the avoided 'Mister Q' register. Then apply it uniformly in p011–p022.

ambiguityCh. 8 · ¶ 12 (ch08p012)#21

Source: 白着眼睛讲得正起劲
Current English: rolling his eyes and holding forth
Why: 白着眼睛 means eyes turned up, looking at no one, which is why he doesn't see Ah Q. 'Rolling his eyes' suggests exasperation in English.
Suggestion: 'with his eyes turned up to the sky, holding forth' or 'staring blankly over their heads, holding forth'.

cultureCh. 8 · ¶ 25 (ch08p025)#22

Source: 拍，吧～～！
Current English: Crack—ba~~ng!
Why: The style sheet gives 拍 as 'Whack!', but here it is a gunshot. The tilde is kept, which is good, but the onomatopoeia choice needs a consistent house decision.
Suggestion: Keep 'Crack' for gunfire, or use 'Pak—ba~~ng!'. Record the exception against the 拍 = Whack! guideline.

allusionCh. 8 · ¶ 30 (ch08p030)#23

Source: 寂静到像羲皇时候一般太平
Current English: as in the golden age of Fuxi
Why: Ironic allusion to the mythic sage-king era. Readers may not know Fuxi, and an inline gloss is not allowed.
Suggestion: Keep 'the golden age of Fuxi' and add an end-note keyed to it, or use 'the age of the sage-king Fuxi'.

low-confidenceCh. 9 · ¶ 24 (ch09p024)#24

Source: 不认得字
Current English: can't write
Why: Literally 'don't know characters', which means illiterate and covers both reading and writing. 'Can't write' fits the brush moment but narrows the meaning.
Suggestion: 'I… I… can't read or write' or 'I… I… don't know my letters'.

punCh. 9 · ¶ 28 (ch09p028)#25

Source: 孙子才画得很圆的圆圈呢
Current English: only grandsons draw really round circles
Why: The line is double-edged: a consolation that his grandsons will do better, and/or an insult that only 'grandsons' (lackeys) draw perfect circles. Bare 'only grandsons' may puzzle English readers.
Suggestion: Consider 'Only a grandson of mine would draw a really round circle', or keep the ambiguity and rely on the end-note.

registerCh. 9 · ¶ 38 (ch09p038)#26

Source: “好！”
Current English: "Bravo!"
Why: The crowd's 好 is the opera-house cheer. 'Bravo!' has a European-theatre flavor that may jar with the coarse village and street register.
Suggestion: 'Good one!' or 'Well said!' fits the street crowd. Keep 'Bravo!' only if the theatrical echo is intended.